A Dog’s Guide to Yoga (Guest Post by Max)

image1. Yoga done by dogs

Roll in poop
Lift leg and pee on alpha female’s flowers
Shake water on master
Tangle in leash
“Who, me?” gaze
Jump in truck
Sit on master’s foot
Point at squirrel
Gnaw on bone
Shred socks
Inhale food
Drink from toilet
Head on lap
Obey commands when food is involved
Act excited to see someone
Tail wag
Appear sympathetic
Curl up in ball when tired
Carry object in mouth with no sense of horizontal space
Dig in trash
Lay in mud
Lick privates
Sniff butt
Crouch to play
Sit for brushing
Sit for food
Potty spot salutations
“C” and poop
Sniff poop
Sniff just because
Pounce just because
Downward digging dog

2. Yoga dogs make master do

Lift me in truck
Fall over when I jerk leash hard
Jump up from sofa when I appear to need to go potty real bad
Bend over to remove things from my mouth
Bend over to attach leash
Blow whistle
Throw it again
Hand signals
Hand signal salutation when I ignore first hand signal
Scold when “Heck, I was just havin’ a little fun”
Pet me
Scratch me
Speak to me as if I understand English

3. Actual yoga dogs really do

Downward facing dog


Copyright 2016 Daniel Blake and Max the dog


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